Unsuccessful stepfamilies, bible blended families, women's issues, stepparenting

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If yours is a stepfamily at the breaking point, one of the growing number of unsuccessful stepfamilies, read some encouraging, humorous advice on your way toward developing healthy relationships.

"Engaging. Real. Heart-warming. Without pretense. "You're NOT My Mom!" recounts the ups and downs of a stepparent and stepchild tying to find peace and love. A real-life drama, rooted in discipleship, filled with hope."

Ron Deal—

President of Successful Stepfamilies

Author of The Smart Stepfamily

Stepfamily Educational Consultant to Focus on the Family

Reader Reviews

Reader Reviews

"When I started reading this book, I couldn't put it down! Get an inside glimpse into this great book about stepfamily life which draws on the perspectives of both a stepmom (Kali) and her stepdaughter. Hear about their ten-year journey toward a positive and rewarding relationship - with all its ups and downs. One of this book's key messages is that stepfamily relationships do not have to be terrible - there is hope that you can bond with your stepchild and have a positive relationship. This book can help not only stepmoms, but also anyone dealing with a difficult relationship."
— Dawn Miller
"For the first time in my life, I read a complete book in one day! I had tuned into a Christian Radio Station while on my lunch hour one day and heard Kali and Elizabeth discussing their new book. I bought the book the same day on my way home and only read a few pages that night. Then on Saturday, I began again and finished. This book is a great guide not only for step parents but parents too. I grew up as a step child and have now become a step mother and it's difficult which ever side of the step you are on. I thought I knew a lot about the step relationship but have realized I have a lot to learn. I plan on reading the book again, this time with a highlighter in hand."
— Rachael
"You're Not My Mom" was a riveting read, and I'm not even a stepparent. It makes you understand that a blended family can have all the tension and drama, all the sabotage and manipulation of a soap opera. At base it's a classic love triangle with the stepmom and stepkids fighting to be number one in the heart of dear old Dad and to edge out the other. And as Kali and Elizabeth make clear, the tug-of-war can go on for years.
— Mary Amoroso of CN8's REAL LIFE
"It's a good read for anyone interested in improving their relationships - not just stepchildren and stepparents."
— Jeff Rubin - Pinole, CA
    Put-it-in-Writing, Newsletter design/publishing

"Your story helps me in my trials as stepmom. I believe I am thinking about the kids and trying to respond to them much differently than before reading your book. I am striving to understand their feelings better, and I am reminding myself more that their expectations are likely to be much different than mine."
— Joby
"Read your first chapter today on the plane. Can't wait to finish it. You gripped me from the first paragraph. WELL WRITTEN and hard to put down. Your book is going to help so many. I love the reflections and lessons you learn at the end of each chapter. It provide us with tools. Great job."
— Al Fike - Christian Comedian
    Author of The Ultimate Self-Help Book

"I just finished the last page of You're NOT My Mom, and although I've never written an author before, I felt moved to write you both and say thank you.

"I don't know why, but I continue to remain amazed at the Lord's work in my life! I have been married to my best friend, Doug, since May 2004, which also makes me the wicked stepmother to his two boys, ages 8 and 10. They live with their mother but spend a significant amount of time with us at our home as well. I've been in their lives since they were 3 and 5, and we're moving along in little goose steps as well.

"My husband and I try to follow Christ in all of our actions. We had a slip this week though, that unfortunately involved the children's mother. I won't get into the details, but suffice to say that our behaviors and conversation that day would NOT have been the answer to what would Jesus do! We were dropping some clothing off at the tailor shop and decided to pop in to the bookstore, where I was led to your book. That was four days ago, and I couldn't put it down. It was if the Lord was speaking directly to me through this book. Our situations are different, but the messages and lessons in your book are so immensely significant and helpful.

"Thank you for sharing your story, wisdom, pain, love and growth. You are indeed doing His work here on earth, and for that I am grateful."
— Sandy - Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

"A friend of mine heard you speak at a women's retreat in San Jose, CA recently. She ordered for me your book You're NOT My Mom!, which I promptly read in just a few days. You see, I am a stepmom (I have never liked that word), and I am struggling with a lot of the same things you describe in your book.

"May I share with you part of my story?...

"On June 30, 2001, Ralph and I were married, and I became the stepmom of three children (two of them were somewhat ok with this, but Alicia was not ready for a stepmom at all!) She even tried to convince the other two. Now almost 4 years later, they are all teenagers, and I am facing the natural teenage years as well as the additional stepmom trials.

"I discovered through your book that some of the struggles I have gone through are normal for a stepmom. Thank you for that! Thank you for taking the time to share your story!

"I think one of the most important things I see in your story is that your relationship with God has been key in you gaining the insights you needed to make changes, press on, and not give up. Struggles with being a stepmom have caused me on a number of occasions to question the strength of my relationship to the Lord. I think I am progressing...Thank you for writing the book!"
— Johanna B.

"I could not put this book down once I got started. I am NOT from a step family, but my mother and I were jealous of each other over my father which created similar scenarios and heated exchanges in my life at home. We did not resolve our differences and I left home at 17. Even though both my parents have since passed on, I felt a healing inside because I have a gained a new understanding how my mother felt during that time. This is an important book for anyone who came from a difficult family history - blood or step - it won't matter. Gaining a new perspective and realizing there is a better way to handle these issues - that IS what matters - and what this intense read did for me."
— Linda Thomas - Lake Dallas, TX

"Blending families relies on God's grace and guidance and a willingness on each person's part to allow God to work through them. This book is filled with encouragement and hope as you see Kali and Elizabeth struggle on this long journey as individuals with their own ideas of what a "step" relationship should be, and trying to adjust to having each other in their lives. As they allow God to work through them and in their lives, they have grown from not really knowing or understanding each other, to trusting God for the outcome of their journey, which thankfully has become a journey they will share together.

"What a blessing this book is and a wonderful resource for anyone in a "step" family relationship. Although my "step" children are grown, this book has pointed out some helpful ways to look at situations I find myself in. I especially liked the sharing from both Kali and Elizabeth on the same event. How insightful this is. This book is an inspiration to me that as we continue to rely on God and the strength that He gives us, all things are possible!"
— Sheila U. - Albany, GA

"As a step grandmother myself, I found your book very insightful and inspiring for any stepfamily (so I bought a copy for each of my children). The thing that struck me most is that when the stepmom realized that she had gotten in over her head she did not take that so many would take; she did not just attempt to make the best of it, she did not run away or give up when all seemed hopeless, she did not divorce, but she met the situation head-on with gut determination, perseverance, and a very strong faith.

"This book has bared the innermost thinking and feeling of a stepmom and daughter. And it was heartwarming to see how a vulnerable child (understandably protected and pampered by her father,still longing for her dead mother) came to know and love her new stepmother.

"You'll laugh, you'll cry, and in the end, you will rejoice with Kali and Elizabeth."
— Jean Mannino - Scottsdale, Arizona

"If ever a book needed to be written You're Not My Mom! is it! I read numerous books annually and this is the best ever on this subject. Kali & Elizabeth become totally transparent for your benefit."
— Herman Bailey - Executive Producer/Host
    "It's Time For Herman & Sharron"

"Your book is a gem! Thank you so much for writing it. What a relief it is to discover that other step-moms fight the same battles, feel the same emotions and cry the same tears that I do. Your book identifies dynamics present in the step-mom/step-daughter relationship and offers godly wisdom to help prevent and alleviate predictable crisis situations. I will definitely pass your book along to other step-moms, my husband and step-daughter. God bless you for being true to your feelings. The emotions you and Elizabeth experienced are universal to step-moms and step-daughters across the globe."
— Andrea - Las Colinas

If you enjoyed the book and would like to write a review, send your comments to Kali.

E-mail Kali

For speaking inquiries, please call
(214) 924-1291.

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