Stepparents and stepchildren often experience their shared journey as a treacherous trail of unexpected, hairpin turns. Destructive feelings and behaviors baffle us — we each want the joy of family, but joy eludes us. The way is uncharted and the outcome is uncertain. Sadly, some would-be-mothers grow to doubt that the trip merits the effort, and quit before reaching the summit. They often leave stepchildren behind with baggage in their backpacks and rough climbing ahead.

Stepparenting adds special demands and challenges for both parents and children. No one grows up saying "I want to be a stepparent" or "I want to be a stepchild."

This book strives to be a marker along the path that says, “Take heart and keep traveling! You are not alone — hold on and make room for God to work. He promises treasure down the road, and it’s well worth a sprained ankle along the way.”

Many of the sprained ankles we endured are shared by other unsuccessful stepfamilies that allow personal agendas to rule in their homes. We don’t offer our experience as the perfect blueprint for blended family success, but we do understand that much can be learned by example. Instead we hope to offer a snapshot in God’s photo album of stepmothers and daughters who have learned how to smile in the face of difficulty and press on against the odds.

What is the difficulty and how great are the odds? According to professional family-counselors they are numerous and treacherous. Here is a partial list:

• Guilt: Children and surviving parents are torn between a need for new love and a need to be loyal to the memory of a lost loved one.
• Jealousy: When a traditional family is disrupted the green-eyed monster often breeds competition between ex-spouses and new spouses, and between children, stepparents and stepsiblings.
• Fear of failure: Parents fear judgment from former spouses (living or deceased) and are frequently alarmed and overwhelmed by their inability to be both father and mother.
• Labeling: The word wicked applies when stepmothers assert even the gentlest discipline. Not surprisingly, the wicked ones see disobedient children as unruly, manipulative brats.
• Disillusionment: A stepmother who hopes to make a difference is quickly discouraged, frustrated, and confused when her husband undermines her authority and her stepchild rejects her love.

Our story is aimed at the preservation of stepfamilies — particularly those where frustration has the upper hand. We offer hope to stepparents who are ready to call it quits and listen to the earthly advisors who say, “Get out of that mess.” Our chapters reveal countless times when we screamed, (and
our readers will echo) “Enough already. This is never going to work.”

Thankfully we did not listen to those voices; we listened to God instead.